homophobia and femminism

Homophobia was discussed in lecture and our readings. Although the lecture touched on this a little, I want to talk about how homophobia is used to discourage heterosexual women from being feminists and becoming involved in women's studies at the University level. I'll admit that although I was very interested in this class and excited to take it, I felt weird telling certain friends and family members that I was taking it. Even though I have a serious boyfriend for some reason on some subconscious level, I didn't want people to think I was a lesbian. Some of my friends made lesbian jokes. My family didn't make any jokes, but as I was listing the classes I'm taking this summer my parents made surprised faces and noises when I said women's studies. It's hard to describe their reaction, but it was obvious that they thought there was a certain stigma attached to women's studies. The funny thing is that the people who show the most discomfort when I talk about women's studies or feminism in general are women. I get the sense that some of my female friends don't know how to feel about it because on the one hand, they don't want to be traders to their gender, but they don't want to be considered a lesbian either. Back in one of the earlier modules, there was a slide that said I'm not a feminist but..... I can relate to that slide a lot because I believe in all those things, but I never considered myself a feminist. I've even literally said "I'm not a feminist but...." several times in my life. I guess this is because feminism actually has a stereotype of not being femmine at all, but as being masculine. This is a strange paradox. I was all about the equality of women, but I really want children and to get married and I aspire to be a teacher. I didn't think I could do any of these things and be a feminist, I thought I had to be a man hating "masculine" looking and acting person. I now know that none of this is true.

Another thing I thought is kind of interesting is that there is kind of a dualism/maybe double standard with lesbians. It is considered "hot" or "sexy" sometimes, and ugly, manly or undesirable other times. I think this is related to the idea of women gender roles being to fulfill the sexual desires of men. When lesbians can still fulfill the sexual fantasies of men (which are usually more in porn or the media than real life) then being a lesbian is a good thing. When high school and college aged girls make out in public settings like parties it is considered a positive thing as long as they are attractive and men are able to watch. On the other hand two "butch" lesbians making out are considered gross. In the minds of many people, there is the "lip stick lesbian" and the "butch" lesbian. I think it's interesting that although many lesbians today are trying to stay away from recreating gender norms, others who view them still try to fit them into pre-existing gender norms.