module 7

The "Bitch Manifesto" and thinking about what I could talk about if I were at a conscious raising group got me thinking about gender roles at JMU. In most of the reading we have done for class, gender roles have been discussed as wife, mother, or the gender roles of young girls. We have read about women's fight to ensure that we have the chance to go to college and enter the work force. Now that it’s perfectly normal for us to be in college, what about the gender roles of female college students? I definitely feel strong pressure to look and act a certain way because I'm a girl. I am expected to wear makeup (I get A LOT of crap for not wearing makeup. Surprisingly, the people who bug me the most about it are my parents), to "do my hair" to wear stylish clothing and to dress up when I go out. I notice that especially when we go out on weekends, "getting ready" is a social bonding experience for my roommates. I'm weird when I want to go out in my jeans and whatever shirt I happen to be wearing. People will even ask you in class that morning, "hey what are you wearing tonight?" I have one girl friend who will call me when she is on her way to my house to tell me what she's wearing. I feel bad that I don't really care. I often just borrow their makeup and sometimes their clothes, not because I really care if I look right, just to take part in the social experience and bond with them. It also seems like girls have been socialized to love to shop. I don't even mean just shopping for clothes, for girls, shopping is an event. If they need something, anything, they will usually say "Hey I'm going to target, wanna come," and then we all go to target and instead of just walking in and getting whatever it was that one of us actually needed, we walk around the whole store and look at stuff we have absolutely no need for and instantly feel like we have to have it. I'm sure some boys are like that too, but from what I've seen they don't seem to be socialized to consider shopping a fun group activity and then tend to just go in and get what they need. When I was in high school I used to try to fit gender norms, I wore make up, tried to have stylish clothes, went tanning twice a month, ect. Then I started to become more spiritual and concerned about the environment and I started wanting to be less materialistic (actually using my clothes until they were no longer functional and not buying so much stuff that has to be made in factories) and I also wanted to be less vain (which meant not wearing make-up all the time, although I do put it on every now and then, and not wasting electricity on a hair dryer every day.) People who knew me when I did care about how I look don't understand why I wouldn't want to do those things anymore, and some people actually get angry with me about it. My mom is always trying to buy me clothes and make up. She is very concerned about my disregard for my appearance. Yet she has no problem with the fact that my brother, who also goes to JMU, has shaggy untamed hair, a patchy attempt at facial hair, and wrinkled baggy clothes. I also notice that people look at my love of nature, science, and rugged outdoor activities differently than they look at those interests in guys. No one has a problem with the fact that I'm into those things, but they are more noticeable traits about me than they are about guys who are into those kinds of things. I don't feel pressure to be the "occupation house wife" of the 50's but I do still feel pressure to fit gender roles. At the same time however, I don't think that there is anything wrong with girls who like to be "girly." I can be really girly sometimes too. I like to have the option to be whoever I want to be and not to have to fit female roles, or to feel like I should try too hard not to fit female roles. I think those who are interested in women's issues today should just encourage girls to be who they want to be whether that happens to fit traditional female roles or not.